3 x 3 x 3, thats how a techie dates !!!

Well so whats this 3 x 3 x 3 and how does it provide us insights into how a techie dates?

3 days 3 dates of 3 hrs each ...

Bangalore is the city of software engineers... u throw a pebble in a crowd n if u r lucky enough u will end up witnessing a miracle else u will see the forces of gravity in play and the pebble hitting a software engineer.

A typical techie passes out of engineering where he has obviously spent 4 years hoping to hone his dating skills because somehow deep inside he knws tht this might well be the last chance tht girls wld be compelled to spend time with them since they r in the same class... and as they will come to knw in the near future that they cannot be terminated from office for approaching a girl which might be considered right the first time but the second time around is eligible for a case on sexual harassment[this clause is actually from my company's sexual harassment rules document]

Now some techies are lucky enough and manage to grab a lesson or two in college about girls, while the not so lucky ones are left behind in the race and after a year or two into their IT jobs they realize that they havnt had the opportunity to explore the better things in life. So now the guy starts to explore ways to meet up with the fairer sex. Now there is a saying in the services industry that "the dateablity of a girl is inversely proportional to the amount of technical role she plays in the project". So if we purely go by this logic the geeky girl right next to u who is an expert in error handling in C++ is not the one whom u would wanna date but it would rather be the hot HR girl. But dude lets be practical here that hot HR girl is way out of ur league so basically u need to look up someone who is kind of into project management, someone who is not a techie but not an HR personal also, lets call her "lucky", as she might be the one.

So once the techie decides on the girl the next step in the algorithm is to let the girl knw... n this is where the social networking skills of a techie namely his Facebook account comes into picture, he first adds the next cubicle geeky girl in his Facebook and then waits for lucky to comment on geeky's status updates, so that he can come up with a smart ass comment which displays his sense of humour and his availability for single ladies. As the comments become frequent he takes a calculated risk and adds lucky to his friend list and now has free access to Facebook chats with her.

The next step in the process after establishing contact is to ask lucky out, now this turns out to be really tricky... this is where the iterative waterfall model concept actually helps the techie [ya i knw and u thought that it was used in SDLC]... he has repeatedly analysed every approach possible and the possible replies and has come out with a fool proof code to ask the girl out and decides to unit test the same on geeky... geeky being geeky finds a possible exit situation and after which the techie has to redo his code and uses it on lucky. Lucky being the resource allocator for the project knws tht the techie is being benched next week so even if things get messy she wld not have to deal with techie later on so she agrees to meet him on the weekend and they end up exchanging their numbers.

Weekend comes techie and lucky both expect the other to call them up... sat passes without any events and techie feels haunted by the idea of another weekend alone but on Saturday night lucky pings techie and asks why techie didnt call her??? techie unaware of the universal protocol tht a guy needs to call the girl even though they both might have each others numbers immediately decides on rectifying his mistake calls lucky up and fixes a time to pick lucky up for dinner.

Day 1, Date 1

1st hr: Basic chit chat.. exchanging pleasantries, few comments on each other's looks and out of courtesy asking the other person to choose the restaurant for dinner, this is quite like walking on thin ice for the techie ... he needs to ensure that lucky likes the food and the price should be just right neither too expensive indicating him to be a show off or too cheap ending up labeling him "the stingy techie"

2nd hr: There are few restaurants that fits "the date restaurant"... characteristics being it serves non Indian food[an indication of how truly globalized the techie is], dim lighting preferably candle lights around and preferably light music with a low noise ratio so that conversation is not hampered. Even though techie and lucky both love Indian food but majboori mein they end up eating Italian/Mexican/oriental food.

3rd hr: The drop home... now it doesnt matter if the girl lives in the other corner of the city or maybe outside it the techie is always like the knight in shinning armour on a royal equine(read techie on a friend's borrowed bajaj) ready to provide lucky a drop home. So after riding for hlf hr to reach her place and as lucky walks back to her place the techie comes up with a lame excuse to let lucky know tht he has nothing to do at home and maybe she could give him company for some more time.

Day 2, Date 2

1st hr: Techie makes plans to take lucky for a movie after the office hrs, lucky plays along although she is not a movie buff... whn they reach the theatre techie wants to see inception a psychological thriller were as lucky wants to see the charming imran khan in "i hate luv stories"... to which they have an argument to which they decide that maybe they should spend more time over a cofee with each other than some stupid movie. So another hr in a coffee shop chit chatting about each othrs, techie is slowly realizing that at this rate he will soon run out of significant events he can narrate to lucky.

2nd hr: Dinner time: turns out that lucky is a veggy "one of those mother earth supporters" so the techie , while having ghaas phoos is all like kahan social activist ke saath phass gaya ... he also ends up learning some valuable lessons that whether a girl is a concerned citizen or a drunk diva women check out othr women and tht they actually tlk with each othr(aankhon aankhon mein) ..they do smthin like this with fluttering eyes "ha ha look at those shoes they so do not match with the color of ur belt" to which the replies in morse code from the othr set of eyes deciphered looks like "@#!$ u biatch !!!"

3rd hr: The drop home... a hlf hr ride ... this time around without a reason lucky hints techie to stay back n walk around near her apartment, techie almost taken aback by this sudden request starts thinking about the implications of such an SR... [now ladies out there reading this blog never hurl a sudden bouncer to a techie his mind is not hardwired for such things]... implications might lead to complications

Day 3, Date 3

1st hr: @CCD, Techie realizes his blood caffeine levels are rising at an alarming rate ... lucky realizes tht they hav nothing in common and anything worth talkin about each other was done n over ... techie starts feeling that the grass is greener on the other side and starts appreciating the virtual mother nature on his laptop... lucky starts feeling she was better off drinking champagne celebrating single life with her girl friends

2nd hr: A phone call allows lucky to make an excuse and move out to a corner and talk for hlf hr eventhough it might actually hav been a call from one of those credit card issuing agents... while techie involves himself with snake II 3D on his phone, realizing thts much more fun... both techie n lucky decide to walk around on deserted road hoping tht maybe open air wld bring out some feelings but mother nature didnt end up helping the two...

3rd hr: The drop home ... hlf hr ride n this time no one wants to stay back and walk n talk...

The aftereffects

Techie decides he is going to concentrate on his project more and stick to his side of the river...

Lucky decides its time she excerices her power as the resource allocator of the project...

The learnings

3x3x3 is way too fast an algorithm to be applied to dating ... u need to understand the importance of ideal time because even machines cant handle continuous processing [my lappy's motherboard burnt out :( due to excessive heat {unnecessary detail provided with expectations of consolation comments}]

The end result

3 x 3 x 3 = the techie being benched, with some initiation from lucky

and that my friend is the 3 x 3 x 3 ...