Date @ Barista...

Sunday mornings are a boring lot in bangalore, people prefer not to get up from there beds before noon (or maybe incapacitated to do so by the previous nights hangover). But life is unpredictably funny providing me with stuffs to write about at the most unexpected place and time. Sitting in Barista in kormangala, i am busy sipping my coffee [not the real reason why i was in Barista, i bought a laptop recently and was there solely for the wifi {i am flat broke after i have bought the laptop (i have only a few hundred bucks and a bundle of sodexos to support my food supply) and cannot afford the net connection till next months salary gets credited, but such trivial things definitely does not prevent me from sitting in barista for hrs sipping air from my coffee mug which held the shit expensive coffee maybe 2 hrs back, and surfing net}].

I noticed a guy walking up to the table next to me who looked around first and then sat slowly and then took out a chit and started memorizing it , "must be formulas for an upcoming GRE or GMAT", i thought, impressive!! optimizing time while waiting for GF perhaps... Quite unusual to be done in barista but look who's talking about unusual stuff... an air sipper!!!.
After about 15 mins a hot chic walked in (i have this knack of sensing hot chics around me, its something like two opposite EM waves one from each of us sexy ppl forms a standing wave resulting in a pause in the space-time continuum resulting in instant fatal attraction ...). She was walking straight towards me , my senses were on a high alert, i noticed that the guy dropped his chit (i would have dropped the laptop myself at that moment) but then i realized that he had carefully lowered his hand and rolled the chit away from himself (the same way that a student cheating in exams disposes the chit and expects the teacher hasnt seen him doing it...). The hottie stopped right next to him and then asked for his name and sat down. I believe u cant judge a person from the first impression and mostly my second evaluation of a person is very accurate , on my second evaluation the girl wasn't all that hot , just another average bangalore girl... Not my kind u see!!! they have to have something special to really stir me up (clear indication that the grapes were sour)...

All this build up had made me really curious about it all... was one of them a hired assassin, or was i in midst of a drug deal!!! I noticed that the paper he had rolled away wasnt far from my table, continuing in a covert way i dropped my pen to make my pick legitimate... And then the truth dawned upon me, and i could see everything clearly... There was more here to the situation than that met the eyes... I am pasting the snapshot of the crumbled paper i took back at home below...

I am rearranging the sequence for my convenience to describe the situation however the words are exactly the same as I found

How to court a girl
1. make eye contact
2. be soft spoken
3. make friends with her friends
4. keep the meeting short
5. make occasions to see and meet her
6. make sure she wishes u when u meet her the next time
7. a mail or a call a day keeps ur sweetheart ...(the text here wasn’t decipherable)
8. beat around the bush before saying ILU

What happened next is equivalent to what happens to a CAT candidate who has prepared for 6 months for one D day...

I know how difficult it is to keep looking into a hot girls eyes ( when was the last time u where talking to a girl and ur eyes didn’t wander downwards), I guess he didn’t want to make that mistake, he took the "making eye contact" point too seriously not taking off his eyes from hers even when he was offering her a cup of tea... He spilled it right on her top. She was appalled and shrieked at him for ruining her expensive dress.

He managed the soft spoken part quite skillfully i guess that was his second nature, being yelled at wasn’t new to him, it seemed.

After she had calmed down he moved over to the third point in agenda, "enquiring about friends"... he carried on... "Who is ur best friend??"“Where does she live", "What does she do", what’s her favorite color??"?????
Now all this is really nice being concerned about her friend but I would definitely have preferred to do so after I had known all these facts about the Person about whose friends I am enquiring about... U should know that sequence handling is an important feature while executing an algorithm. Now i am sure the girl didn’t mistake his over enthusiasm into her girlfriend as anything more than trying to know "her better" or maybe "her girlfriend better".

"Keep the meeting short"- he didn’t have to work on this point at all, the above events made sure that this point would go on smooth as a hot knife in butter.

I don’t know how points 5 onwards worked in his favor but let me guess...

"make occasions to see and meet her": i am sure he would have had a difficult time to do this equipped with her best friends schedule which he got out of her.

"make sure she wishes u when u meet her the next time" : This would be really funny to see if he makes a point to make this point happen... Imagine a girl trying to avoid u among a crowd and u bound on getting her to wish u no matter what... ( holding a gun to her head n soft spokenly "Wish me"!!!)

"a mail or a call a day keeps ur sweetheart..": I wonder at this point if she would have changed her phone number or mail id or both...

"beat around the bush before saying ILU": I saw him beating around the bush whole of that "first date", even the bush could not take any more beating it seemed. Hope he got a second chance for "ILU" part.

P.S. (For the guy who is the subject here)
Now I am not sure how good i am at summarizing situations, this is completely my viewpoint of the situation that might have been after the "first date" and i have no supporting facts for the same so forgive me...

P.S (For the same guy who is the subject here)
You should have been more careful while disposing the evidences, after all Thank Dear God that it landed in the hands of a blogger and not a reporter of Aaj Tak otherwise this story would be running on News Channel for 2 days, at least with me u can be sure only geeky people like urself would come to know about it and will not feel offended because they can very well relate to ur situation

P.S. (For all the hot girls who went to Barista on a Sunday for a "first date" with a geeky guy and ended up with coffee spilled on to u)
If u haven’t found someone yet u can drop ur phone numbers in my mailbox. My list is a lot better than this guy's and I have back up plans also!!!.